The is the story of Mr Dean Finkle
Who got into trouble when he needed a tinkle.
He set off for a walk from The Old Cow And Bull
When he suddenly he realised his bladder was full.
Was he concerned? No he was not.
Even in this popular rambling spot.
What people don't see, people don't mind.
He just needed a tree he could wee right behind.
But he was caught in a new planted spinney
And all of the trees were weedy and skinny.
Were there lots of thick bushes to conceal him round here?
No. The undergrowth was gone, all eaten by deer.
Was a burst kidney to be his ultimate fate?
Where could a man safely urinate?
Lucky for him he found a parked up Land Rover.
He could widdle behind that, his problem was over.
He took out his winkle and relief filled his head.
His pee was mid stream when away the car sped
Leaving him there for the world all to see.
Or in this case The Arch Bishop Of Canterbury.
Plus 12 nuns who also were also out on a hike,
The Lady Mayoress who was riding her bike,
A picnicking family who must have been townies,
A whole camping field of quite surprised brownies,
2 ageing spinsters respectably dressed,
And a well endowed donkey who wasn't impressed.
Mr Dean Finkle now felt rather silly
With all of these people who could now see his willy.
The scene was one that was quite unprecedented
And Mr Dean Finkle was quickly arrested.
You're bound to remember this story no doubt
So make sure that you go before you go out.