Slough Limerick

There was a young man from Slough

Who decided to marry a cow.

Daisy and Chris,

Are living in bliss,

So I'm thinking of marrying one now.

M Is For Moose

One thing you must never do

Is to confuse a moose with mousse.

Imagine if you were in a zoo

And one of them got loose.

If it was a huge horned beast

Then it might be rather scary.

Much more so than an escaped dessert,

in Banana, chocolate or strawberry.

Lenny The Ski Lion

Lenny was a fearsome lion.

There were none as fierce as he.

And Lenny had a life long dream

Which was to learn to ski.

The thought of whooshing down the snow

Filled every waking second.

He would be a great world champion

If he tried it, so he reckoned.

Now the animals around him

Thought the idea to be a winner.

They'd rather help him learn to ski

Than end up as his dinner.

They gathered round and called him over

On the plain so hot and sunny,

And got him a taxi, and plane ticket

They'd bought with all their money.

Lenny the lion jumped for joy

And did his special happy dance,

Then Boarded the first plane he could

That flew to Southern France.

He soon arrived, found his hotel

And clothes quite warm yet cool,

Some splendid skis made just for lions

And enrolled in the ski school.

His class was full of children

Having their first feel of snow.

Which made the mighty jungle king

Afraid to have a go.

But a little girl came up to him

Swamped in massive coat and hat,

She said “please will you hold my hand

Mr great big pussy cat?”

Lenny was shy and nervous

And had quite lost his voice,

But took the girl's hand in his.

He felt he had no choice.

Slowly they set off down the hill

With many falls along the way.

They learnt to turn and how to stop

And agreed to meet next day.

On that day they were better.

The following better still.

The fourth day they left the school

In search of a bigger thrill.

They squeezed inside a ski lift

With more people than they could count in.

And off they went with their skis

To the top of Danger Mountain.

They relaxed a while at the peak.

Drinking hot chocolate in the shop.

Then went to the top of the slope

Where Lenny had to stop.

“I can't do it!” Lenny cried,

“The hill is just too steep!”

Then he collapsed upon the floor

And the king began to weep.

Lenny and his little friend

Went down by cable car.

And were spotted by another cat

Who came from Africa.

Miguel, that was his name.

A world famous downhill skier.

His technique was nearly perfect,

He was fast and showed no fear.

“King of the jungle?” Laughed Miguel.

“but now everyone will know,

You're really just a big cry baby

Afraid of a bit of snow!

Why not watch me tomorrow

If you dare to show your face?

At the top of Danger Mountain.

I'll winning the big race!”

Lenny was there next day

In the air so cold and thin.

But not to watch his spotty rival,

Just to try his best to win.

“Don't be silly!” Mocked Miguel.

“You haven't got a chance!”

“I'll beat you.” Lenny calmly said,

“Then I'll do my happy dance.”

The field set off down the course,

Lenny first, Miguel behind.

He was spurred on by the thought

Of his words so cruel and so unkind.

He carved each turn so beautifully

The crowds just had to cheer,

But he couldn't lose his rival

Who stayed close to Lenny's rear.

Miguel thought that he would lose

So with his ski pole gave a clout

To the back of Lenny's legs

Causing our hero to wipeout.

He slid to the side of the piste

Where watching was his friend.

“Never give up!” she cried, “Carry on!

Keep trying to the end!”

Up jumped Lenny and off he sped

At a quite breathtaking pace.

Determined to chase and beat that cat

That had stolen his first place.

He crouched down low, tightly tucked

And glided like he was flying.

He caught up Miguel but couldn't pass

Though he was really trying.

The mean cat swerved and pushed Lenny wide

Who shot into a bank of ice.

Miguel laughed and shouted back

Some really bad advice.

“You're just a loser you big soft lion

With your silly mane of hair!

You'll never be a winner

If you're always playing fair!”

Lenny carried on the race

And saw Miguel lift up the cup.

He was sad and he was beaten.

No one could cheer him up.

As Miguel stood on the winner's step

Lenny saw what the crowd were doing.

They all threw snowballs at Miguel

Shouted “Cheat!” and started booing.

An organiser took back the trophy

Which caught Lenny by surprise.

“You're the rightful winner!” He said,

“This cup is now your prize!”

Lenny saw his little friend

And rushed to hug and greet her.

She told Lenny that he had won

Because Miguel was a big old...

...cheetah.

K Is For Kangaroo

Kangaroos jump about.

Jump jump jump jump jump.

Up they go then down they come.

Bump bump bump bump bump.

But what's the point in going up

Only to have to land?

Why not just go walk about

Or stay in place and stand?

I Is For Iguana

I wanna iguana.
I want one really bad.
If I had an iguana
It would be the best pet that I had.

Iguanas are really cool.
They have them in a zoo.
They keep them there in cages
But that's not what I'd do.

I would keep it in my bedroom
And let it live under my bed,
With a little bowl of water
And lots of jam and bread.

I'd give it stokes and cuddles
And be very very kind,
And take it into school with me.
The teacher will not mind.

I would take it for long walks
And for rides out on my bike.
I would feed it lots of treats
Of the kind it really likes

Jack's pet is just a puppy.
I need a better pet than his,
So I wanna iguana
But I wonder what one is?

H Is For Horse

Horses are made from different bits.
That it needs to use when it runs or sits.
At the end of it's leg you'll find a hoof.
Go take a look if you want proof. 
It's got hair on it's neck called a mane.
To stop it looking quite so plain.
It has a tail you'll find on one end,
And knees in it's legs to help it bend.
It has a stomach and heart inside no doubt
And skin wrapped round so they don't fall out.
It's got a long face and mouth with teeth.
And various private things beneath.
So with all those parts and food inside
You can just hop on and take a ride.

Alice And The Nursery Pet

Page 1

“That was a cool storm last night.” Said Greg.

“Cool?” Replied Chuck. “We all could have been blown away to Spain, and I can't talk French!”

“We're all fine now.” Reassured Alice. “A few things might have been blown over in the garden though. Let's go have a look.”

Page 2

Alice, Greg and Chuck and a couple of other children are in the garden looking at a wire fence that's been squashed by a fallen branch.

A large branch had snapped off a tree and had fallen onto the fence below.

“That could have squashed me flat. It could have squashed everybody if we had lined up just right.” Said Chuck.

“Hmm. There seems to be hair caught in the fence.” Said Alice as she inspected it. “Like an animal has got through, but what sort?”

Page 3

The children are talking in a group. There is a donkey amongst them.

“There is no way that any animal could possibly have got in.” Said Chuck firmly. “There are only children in this nursery.”

“Chuck, who's the new person? The hairy one with a leg at every corner?” Asked Princess.

The children saw the donkey.

“Brilliant! It can be our new pet.” Declared Greg to cheers from all but one of the children.

Page 4

“No” Said Alice. “We just can't keep it. The Beastmaster will tell you why.”

“It'll need a name, some food and some water.” Said the Beastmaster. “And a bed and some pyjamas.”

“Donk Donk!” Shouted Tiny.

“And we can give it fruit from our snack, and help it make a nest.” Suggested Princess.

“And where will we get donkey pyjamas from?” Asked Alice. “No. I'm off for my dancing lesson now and when I get back I want that donkey gone.”

And with that, Alice left.

Page 5

“Let's keep Donk Donk!” Shouted all the children once they knew Alice was out the way. Alice was very clever but didn't appreciate how much fun doing something really daft was.

“Look!” Shouted Tiny from near the back of the animal. “It laid eggs!”

We see that the “eggs” that the donkey has just laid are not eggs, but round lumps of donkey poo.

“We'll need to keep those safe.” Said Princess. “We'll put them in her nest when We've built it.”

Page 6

The donkey couldn't have been very tired as it showed no interest in the nest that the children had built for it.

The nest is a very child made affair and is situated at the top of the climbing frame. The donkey is totally uninterested.

“It probably wants to play first.” Said The Beastmaster.

Page 7

Top of page: The donkey is seen standing in a sandpit with the same uninterested expression as before.

Bottom of Page: The donkey is seen with it's bottom being lifted up by a see-saw. It still looks uninterested.

Page 8

Top of page: The donkey is at the top of the slide as bored as before. There seems no way it could have gotten up.

Bottom of Page: Princess is pushing the donkey in a pram. It is not a good fit.

Page 9

The Beastmaster suddenly shouted “Stop!” Causing half the children to stop and the other half to walk into the ones who had stopped. “He's hungry now. We need to take him inside for some snack.”

“Why can't we bring some snack out here?” Asked Greg.

“Because you have to eat snack at the table.” Replied Chuck. “It one of the rules.”

“And there's no rule saying you have to leave a donkey outside for snack.” Added The Beastmaster.

Page 10

“That's only because the grown ups didn't think we'd ever have a donkey.” Said Greg. “And there is that rule they made up last week, “Don't do anything that will set Mrs Peters off again”, so I think we'll need clothes for a disguise.”

“Well.” interrupted Greg, “We'll get into trouble if we get caught so we'll just have to make the disguise so incredibly perfect nobody will ever realise it's not a person.”

The children all agreed the disguise was...

Page 11.

PERFECT!

The donkey in disguised quite terribly as a female member of staff. Droopy, half pulled up tights, skirt over back 2 legs, floppy hat, etc.

Page 12

The children took the donkey to the snack table. It munched its way through the fruit in a frenzy of teeth and donkey dribble.

“Wow!” Said Princess. “She eats like Mrs Peters!””

The Beastmaster declared “Donkeys usually like to go and read a book after eating.”

And with that, they all went off to the book corner.

Page 13

“I'm back! I did very...why on Earth is there a donkey in the room when I said I wanted it gone!!” Cried Alice.

Alice was very clever, but she could be extremely bossy.

She went on. “I know the Head Teacher, Miss Pump, can't see too well but even she...”

“EVEN SHE WHAT?!” Came the booming voice from across the room.

Page 14

“...even she couldn't have missed our new student teacher arrive.” improvised Alice quickly. “Have you met Miss Don...er...Miss Donna Key. She's just about to read us all a story.”

Miss Pump squinted through her glasses at the donkey.

“Donna Key?” She said. “Why do her ears poke through her hat, and why is she plastered in bits of apple?”

“She's Mrs Peter's daughter” Explained Alice.

Page 15

“Mrs Peter's daughter eh?” Said Miss Pump looking at the pile of brown 'donkey eggs' that were now behind the donkey. “That explains it.”

“Never mind Miss Key. That happens to us all the first time we read to a class. Alice...” Said the teacher, “Could you show Miss Key where the bathrooms are please?”

Alice quickly took the donkey away.

Page 16

Miss Pump is pictured along with several members of staff. The staff are stressed out under-paid zombie like people with frazzled hair and starey eyes.

“Lot's of legs on that Donna Key girl. And big floppy ears.” Thought Miss Pump out loud. “Donna Key. Hmm. Don...key. DONKEY!! That was a donkey!

The Head Teacher turned to the other members of staff.

“Find that donkey!!”

Page 17

We see all the staff searching around the room. Alice takes it behind a painting easel.

Alice told the donkey. “You are a lovely thing, but the grown ups are right for once. You'd take a lot of looking after so we just can't keep you, but If I get caught with you now I'll be in huge trouble.”

“I need to sneak you back to your field past all the grown ups looking for...” Alice paused as the idea suddenly came to her. “...looking for a donkey, but I've got a plan!”

Page 18

“We'll get you out of these silly clothes.” Said Alice as she undressed the donkey. “Then I'll disguise you as...”

Page 19

The donkey is now painted to look like a zebra.

Alice led the freshly painted donkey through the nursery, past all the franticly searching staff.

“Just a zebra.” Sighed Miss Pump as the animal passed her.

Page 20

Close up of Miss Pump.

“Wait a second!” She shouted out. “If anything a zebra in nursery is even worse than a donkey!!”

“ALICE!!!”

Page 21

Alice helped the donkey over the branch and flattened fence back into it's field.

“It'll soon wash off.” Alice told the donkey. “And if you ever want a stroke or a pat you just need to stick your head over the fence.

The donkey seemed to understand. It's nursery experience was fun, but it missed it's own field, water trough, and running round with no clothes on.

Page 22

As Alice went back to the staff had given up trying to find donkeys or zebras and had found some cups of tea, with the biscuits they kept for emergencies.

Alice had expected the other children to be sad without their new pet, but Tiny explained why they weren't.

“Don't need Donk Donk” Explained Tiny. “Just wait more donkeys.” Said Tiny.

“And where are more donkeys going to come from?” Asked Alice.

So Tiny told her. “From...”

Page 23&24

“...EGGS!”

We see the children are all holding “donkey eggs”. The whole of the nursery is also covered in brown lumps, from the playhouse roof to the book shelves.

Jen, Erik, and Doug

Page 1

Jenny the mouse is walking along looking bored.

“I feel bored.” Said Jenny.

Page 2

Jenny is looking under leaves on a bush.

“I feel lucky.”

Page 3

She finds a berry.

“I feel happy!”

Page 4

She pulls and pulls.

“I feel strong!”

Page 5

Jenny manages to pull the berry off. It flies off and she takes a tumble.

“Whoops!

Page 6

She is exhausted but happy and sitting near the berry. We see a tortoise come into view.

“I feel exhausted.” Said Jenny. “And I feel proud.”

Page 7

The tortoise treads on the berry.

SQUELCH!

Page 8

Jenny is sad.

“Oops!” Said Doug. “I feel guilty.”

Page 9

Doug hugs Jenny.

“I feel sad.” Said Jenny.

“I feel sad as well.” Said Doug.

Page 10

A snake slithers into view.

“I feel curious.” Said Erik.

Page 11

“We're both feeling sad.” Said Doug to Erik.

Page 12

“I feel hungry.” Said Erik.

Page 13

Doug hides in his shell.

“I feel safe.” Said Doug.

Page 14

Jenny tries to get in Doug's shell.

“I feel Jealous.” Said Jenny.

Page 15

Erik gets closer.

“I feel scared!” Said Jenny.

Page 16

Erik starts to open his mouth.

“I feel...”

Page 17

Erik swallows Jenny.

“...full!” Said Erik.

Page 18

Doug comes out of his shell. There is a lump in Erik's middle.

“I feel angry.” Said Doug.

Page 19

“I feel embarrassed.” Said Erik.

Page 20

“I'm feeling... for a handle.” Said Jenny.

Page 21

“We feel confused.” Said Erik and Doug.

Page 22.

Jenny opens a door in the middle of Erik and steps out.

“I feel relieved.” Said Jenny.

Page 23

“I feel very sorry.” Said Erik.

Page 24

Doug and Jenny hug Erik.

“I feel...forgiving” Said Jenny.

The End.