Wednesday, 13 January 2016

The Really Bad Mouse - Gruffalo Parody (Contains masses of bad language)

A mouse strolled again through the deep dark wood.
The fox remembered the mouse as he knew that he would.
He wouldn't fall for the next mousey trick.
He was going to enjoy eating the great squeaky prick.

"Well well" said the fox. "I can't believe my luck."
"Oh shit" said the mouse. "Oh God! Holy fuck!"
"I'm going to eat you" the fox said "With cheese and some pickles",
But the mouse ran underneath him and bit his tes-ticles.

The mouse ran on fast but bumped into the snake.
"Boy!" said the snake, "Have you made a mistake!"
"I'm going to swallow you whole, each last little bit
The next time you see daylight will be when I shit"

"So come closer" said snake, "My friend, my old mucker"
"YOU'VE made a mistake!" said mouse "Take this mother fucker!"
With those words he took snake by surprise
And jabbed a sharp stick straight into his eyes.

On ran the mouse who was pleased with his stunt,
When down flew that annoying feathery cunt.
"It's me" said owl. "Oh fuck off" the mouse said
And nutted the owl right in the head.

The mouse punched the owl quickly and with loud angry squeak
Said "I'm going to fucking rip off that daft beak.
I'll pluck you and kick you and when you're down on the deck,
I'll rip off you head and then shit down your neck!"

The mouse walked on down the path and shook the blood from his nose,
And dreamt what he'd do to those two gruffalos.

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