Politicians love underpants
Of every shape and size.
They often catch on fire
From their wearers constant lies.
They sometimes wear them on their own
Or if they think it's cute
Team them up with orange bras
From a hired prostitute.
They'll claim them on expenses
To wear under their trousers.
And buy some for their ducks
To wear in their duck houses.
UKIP leader Nigel Farage
Wears a skimpy lacy thong.
He once tried on French knickers
But says they just felt wrong.
The Prime Minister is often briefed
But they're very seldom seen.
Except for every Tuesday
When he shows them to The Queen.
Wear your Labour pants with pride.
Show them off with bow and twirl.
Keep Your red pants flying here!
(Or pink if you're a girl).
Eric Pickles wears ladies' undies
When he feels really naughty.
And in case you've ever wondered
He's dress size two hundred and forty.
Scottish pants on their MP
Have to travel quite a distance, see?
Over land and over sea
From their parliamentary constituency.
Cyril Smith had lots of pants.
His love for them was great.
Unfortunately the labels said
"For children 6 to 8".
But now is not the time
For a mad pants buying spree.
We must wear the white until they're grey
In this pants austerity.
Yes, politicians love underpants
That really is quite true.
And unlike all the politicians
I'd never lie to you.